Paintballing the World, Part 3: Producer?

I went home for Christmas a few weeks later. Tigerstripe wanted to put on a winter scenario. I figured I would take a shot at it. The EMR game had been the first game I’d ever played that was more complicated than Capture the Flag. But I can be creative and did my best for them. 


I wrote up a scenario based on the Battle of The Bulge during WWII. The American team would start with a small group of players in the main fort, (Bastogne). They could each be shot and respawn at the fort three times before they would have to respawn with the rest of the Allies on the other side of the field. The real catch was that they only got 100 rounds of paint per person. The Allies on the other side of the field were given the rest of their pods, but could only carry one pod at a time to Bastogne. They also had 10 50-gallon drums. Every drum that made it into Bastogne scored points. I had a bunch of WWII props from a movie I had filmed a few years earlier. Those were scattered across the field and also worth points. The Germans started in between. If the Germans took Bastogne, they scored points. If they collected props, they scored points. If they intercepted barrels, they scored points.

Zee Germanz iz Comingz!!!

Mendaka and Quentin were up from West Point. We drank late the night before. Josh got sick and threw up on his computer and bed. HHH and I took the rap, cleaned it all up, fixed his computer, and racked out around 3am. We woke up promptly at 7. Josh was hurting. Hungover. He didn't want to come. We chastised his manhood until he got out of bed. The inability of him to wake up and get ready for paintball has become a joke in the years since, but at the time it was a pain in the ass. He felt hungover all the way to the field and a mile from the entrance, he asked us to pull the car over. He got down on his knees in the ditch and began throwing up. Over and over and over, his arms out and away from him so they wouldnt get splattered. He looked like that scene from Platoon. I nearly died laughing. He got back in the car.

"I am death." he said.

If you get me out of this Jungle, Lord, I'll never drink again... I promise.

The game went well. We held out in Bastogne as long as we could. As ammunition began to run low Josh came sliding into the back of the fort, still wearing his blue winter ski jacket.
"HERE!", he gasped and dropped us pods. Then he was off again.


He had apparently come upon the Germans from behind, shot half their team and opened a corridor to Bastogne. Soon the Allies began to pour barrels and paint into the Fort, racking up points. The Germans didn't seem interested in taking Bastogne and instead just scoured the field for props. 

Josh wavered between heroic and vomiting, running back and forth to the Allied base to supply Bastogne, trying to stay ahead of the Germans and his hangover.
At one point he got so sick he just sat down next to a tree. Three Germans walked by and waved at him as he lay against the tree. He waved back... let them pass... and then shot them all in the back. They complained he was cheating. He reminded them that he hadn't pretended to be dead. He just looked like death and they hadn't bothered to check. 
Later in the day, the Allied force in Bastogne began to dwindle. Mendaka and QT found themselves holding off the entire German army from the fort, running from window to window, sharing paint until they were down to less than 10 rounds apiece. It was pure epicness when they held out until the horn blew with German soldiers stacking on the doors of the fort. At midday I reset the field and we switched teams and replayed the scenario. 

It was good hard day. Everyone had fun. 
I learned that creating a game can be as much fun as playing in one, that there are lots of factors and twists that need to be accounted for to keep things balanced.

And that Josh is not a morning person.